Our rental car pack to the brim after checking out of the hotel
Let me start of by saying this has NOTHING to do with marriage, it's about the wedding itself being over. Brian has been his usual supportive self with me and I LOVE being married to him. He makes me so incredibly happy. I, like many brides, spent practically all my free time on wedding planning and now that it's over I don't know what to do with myself. I've been lucky that the past two weeks have been incredibly busy at my full-time job as well as my part-time coaching job but I'm having the hardest time trying to figure out my "new normal."
I've never had more fun in a piece of clothing
The three days following our wedding were filled with so many tears. I can't count how many times I said "I want to get married everyday!" Maybe it's the fact that I loved putting together all the little details, maybe it was seeing all my hard work coming to life, or maybe it't the fact that having everyone I love most in the world all in one place celebrating love and knowing that it's probably the only time in my life that will happen. On October 17th there were no family feuds, friendship riffs, or hometown gossip...there was only love. I knew I would be sad when the wedding was over but I never expected to grieve an event, one solitary day so much. No one told me it would be this rough and it left me wondering am I the only person who ugly cried when she packed up her wedding dress and threw out flowers. Am I being selfish when the next day important people had already moved on to "the next best thing" going on? Sunday people were already messaging and asking if they could buy my decor, I was incredibly flattered, but for heaven's sake my fake eyelashes hadn't come off and people were chomping at the bit to try to get my stuff. Would you message someone right after their child was born and ask to buy the dress they wore to come home in? I know my wedding wasn't the center of everyone's lives but it was the center of mine for a while and it's hard to get over. I don't have hard feelings towards anyone, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with these loco feelings.
Am I pouting about throwing away my gorgeous flowers or that the weather on Sunday was completely clear?! LOL
I know I should be happy, and trust me I am, about what amazing of a wedding day we had and how special it was. Each day when I have a moment of time where I'm not working or actively doing something I get so anxious about seeing the rest of our photos and how our wedding video will turn out. What I hate to admit is how nervous I am to see them both because I don't how I'll respond. Will it be tears of joy or a Forgetting Sarah Marshall "if I put my clothes on it's over" situation where I'm in a funk for months about it. I guess at this point, in time, the only way to know is to wait and see.
Until then you can find me channeling all my energy into coaching my dance team and trying to be the best wife I can be to Brian. For my fellow past brides...did y'all feel this way to? How did you work through it? What advice do you have for me? Any suggestions are welcome and I truly appreciate them. I can't wait to share the details of our wedding, but only feel it's right to do so when I've worked through this and I hope everyone can understand that. So this is me being real with y'all and truly hoping that I'm not alone in this. As always thanks for reading and I promise to keep things more upbeat next time around.
Linking up for Wedding Wednesday and What's Hap-Pinning?! so check them out :)
YES! I absolutely feel you. Actually the morning after our wedding, the first thing I did was cry. My husband probably thought I was bonkers! Our honeymoon wasn't until 6 weeks later so I really dove into planning that and focused on work, as well. I got excited to plan other things like showers for my friends. And I didn't start my blog until after our wedding so it helped to start writing about the wedding planning process and remembering how much I enjoyed it )
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure us past brides should write a BOOK about how we feel after the wedding ends. I have a feeling this comment is going to be a long one....First, the dress. I LOVE that photo, seriously shows what a great night you had. I had about 8 inches of mud covering the bottom of mine, I totally thought it was ruined, even the cleaner said it was. But I had a bridal session a few weeks after our wedding and that shiz needed to be CLEAN...my mom scrubbed and scrubbed until ALL of the mud came out! Second, YES to the weather. There was a tornado on my wedding night...my OUTDOOR wedding night with the OUTDOOR dance floor. The next day was absolutely beautiful, and of course we spent the day cleaning up :'( Third, I have worked for a wedding florist for almost 5 years and practically cry overtime a bride doesn't take her bouquet with her, and when we are throwing away the flowers after the wedding. Lastly, a few days after my wedding I was looking through photos of the morning of, and there is a photo of all of the girls in bed before leaving for the venue. I broke down and cried my eyes out when I realized those 9 girls will likely never ever be in the same place again. broke my heart. UGH so yes girl, it is 110% normal to be feeling all of the feels. Weddings are so much fun and so much work, but so incredible worth it! I would do it again in a heartbeat. Sorry this was totally a book ;)
ReplyDeleteJordan! I felt the exact same way! I thought I was crazy feeling like that! It took me a month before I packed my dress up and I cried the whole time doing it! I would just sit with my dress and cry on the days leading up to packing it away! Kyle and I say all the time how we want to get married every day! It will pass and you will find your normal!
ReplyDeleteTotally normal to feel a let down Jordie. One of the things I love most about you is that you wear your heart on your sleeve. Pretending you're not in mourning over the end of the wedding would be fake. And you are not fake, girl. Life has ups and downs. Highs and lows. It's called life on life's terms. And you must work through this. But knowing others have felt and will feel like this must be comforting. Also the fact that you aren't going on your honeymoon right away also added to the letdown. Brian and I left the next morning for our 2 week Disney honeymoon so that helped a lot. Thanks for sharing and can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteTotally normal to feel a let down Jordie. One of the things I love most about you is that you wear your heart on your sleeve. Pretending you're not in mourning over the end of the wedding would be fake. And you are not fake, girl. Life has ups and downs. Highs and lows. It's called life on life's terms. And you must work through this. But knowing others have felt and will feel like this must be comforting. Also the fact that you aren't going on your honeymoon right away also added to the letdown. Brian and I left the next morning for our 2 week Disney honeymoon so that helped a lot. Thanks for sharing and can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteI think it's normal after you spent so long planning it and putting your heart and soul into it. We went on our honeymoon right after the wedding and that took my mind off things. I was in beautiful Hawaii, how could I miss all of that work and stress? When I came back I just got into a new routine or getting things settled in the house and going back to work. Thankfully I didn't deal with the blues like you are, but hopefully you can find something to be distracted with. I'm glad your day went so wonderfully and now you have those memories to look back on and cherish.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally normal to feel this way! I'm still feeling this way and we got married in May! My 7 year old step (eww hate that word) daughter feels the same way too. She's constantly asking when we can get married again. It was the best night of her life according to her. My dress was sooooooo filthy! Everything came off! It rained on our day as well. Clear skies the next morning on our drive up to Canada after checking out of the hotel!! Haha.. Happy day!
ReplyDeleteWe miss you & hope you return to blogging soon! Maybe you can share a honeymoon post or new recipes
ReplyDelete